“Your sign is also in Spanish; does that mean you speak the language?”I was getting a little perturbed by Gordon’s circular way of coming to the point.“Like a native. Why all the questions Mister Gordon? You don’t think I’m a counterfeiter, do you?”That question finally got a rise out of the implacable agent. He started to say something, but I held up my hand to stop him.“Listen, you are a federal agent wandering around the border with Mexico, right after the release of the new United States Currency. What else could you be but Secret Service looking for counterfeiters? I don’t know anything about counterfeiting, other than it’s against the law, but if you have questions for me, fire away.”Gordon surprised me then by walking to the bookcase and taking down Molly’s family Bible. Before I knew it, he had deputized me as an adjunct federal agent (without pay of course). He put the Bible back and handed me a brand new ten dollar bank note. The note was a gold certificate, which was. After a few days, even her boss noticed she wouldn’t pick up the phone. He asked her why. ‘Uuummm, well, uummm, I’m answering it. Uuumm, well, I mean, sometimes I answer it.’ Her boss said, ‘What do you mean you’re answering it SOMETIMES? I just got a call from Nick over in purchasing who said our vendor has been trying to reach me for the last 5 days. He thought we’d gone out of business. Pick up the phone Suzy. It’s not like I pay you a salary SOMETIMES, okay?’ ‘Sorry boss. It won’t happen again.’ Her boss stared intently at her. His eyes softened and he said, ‘You’re not in some sort of trouble are you? I mean, well, do you need some money or something?’ Suzy laughed hysterically and said, ‘OH GOD NO, are you kidding?! I don’t need money. I’m fine. Let’s just say it’s related to female issues.’ ‘Oh hell no. Don’t say another word. I DON’T even want to know what the hell ‘female issues’ means. I am so not going to go down that path. I don’t do it with my wife, much less my.
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